Failing at Life

Have you ever felt this way?

I do. Sometimes.

My entire life I've been obsessed with making to-do lists.

Confession: Sometimes I add things I've already completed to said list just so I can cross it off.
Please tell me I'm not alone in this crazy behavior...

As part of my never-ending lists, I also set an absurd amount of goals. Most of the time the "goals" exist only as fleeting thoughts and therefore are only wishes and not goals. Yet, even the goals that do become real goals by establishing themselves on a flimsy, white page rarely make a difference in my life.

So, I devised a plan to ensure real change, real improvement, and real betterment in my life.

Here's how it goes:
I have 3 goal. ONLY 3. The first goal will always be what I call my "dailies;" in other words, the religious things I do every single day without fail or change of time (i.e. prayer, scriptures, journal). The second goal is for improvement, something I'd like to work on that will help add to my life. And the third goal is for betterment, eliminating a bad habit that holds me back.

I set my goals and wrote them in my journal.

THEN (that's not all yet), I told a friend. Actually, I told two. I have two very close friends who set their own goals based on this pattern.

I've heard tell that 21 consistent days makes a habit. We must keep our goals, ALL OF THEM COMPLETELY, for 21 straight days. At that time, we reward ourselves for our success. However, 21 days does not mean "the end." We reward ourselves, and then we have the opportunity to start one more goal. It is only at 42 days that we can remove a goal from this required daily routine.

IF, knock on wood, we even so much as forget to complete a single aspect of our three goals, we much sacrifice something (we've agreed on media) for 3 days, as well as start back at day one for your 21 day cycle.

We've named this plan: "Are you good?" We ask each other constantly "Are you good?" as a reminder.

Today is day 18 of that plan.

We are all "good" to varying degrees.

Each of us has had to ask for an exception once. But we also believe in forgiveness. :)

I hadn't intended on telling you the entire structure of the plan, but rather that it's very difficult for me to keep up. I have 3 simple goals, that's all. The first week was cake, but ever since then I've really felt disappointed in both my efforts and their results. I think it's because survival of life has been my priority and improvement thereof has been the afterthought.

All my life I've had to be careful with sentences like: "When this test is over, then I'll be happy." "After these projects I'll be less stressed." "Dang. I forgot to call her last week. When I get on top of all my craziness, I'll have to give her a call."

This week I heard a profound statement:
"We're doing better than we think we are, but we can all do better than we are doing."
-Julie B. Beck

I'm surviving, and therefore failing life.

It's time to take a deep breath, and live.

It's time to think better, do better, and be better.

...but not kill ourselves, cause that's not living either.