How We See Ourselves

Situation one:

So..... friend and I were reflecting back on the earlier days. We do this often. It's fun to share journal entires and thoughts surrounding a particular event, and compare what we were REALLY thinking.

Friend made a comment weeks ago that he saw me as "quiet" when he first met me.

Recently, we had another such conversation where I referenced the earlier comment about being "quiet," and laughed at how we initially had such "incorrect perceptions" of one another's personalities.  To which my friend responded that he still saw me as being quiet.

I was really taken aback. Me? Quiet? I saw myself as pensive, and even decisively reserved in certain social circumstances, but I've never used the word "quiet" to describe myself.

Maybe our applications of the word were different. Sure. But my mind raced through memories of a very social, outgoing, talkative me.

Situation two:

Recently, I went to a very formal ball with my boy. I spent hours tediously curling my hair and applying makeup. I know that everyone has a different style, and individuals often feel strongly about said personal style, but boy commented (very innocently, might I add) about my wearing too much makeup. (I also have to add that he said very wonderful and kind things about how "gorgeous" he thought I was, and that I was the "most beautiful" girl there... this other comment was very small, and again, very innocent.) Whatever intent he had when making the comment, I couldn't help but let my thoughts wander in comparing other things we might see differently.

I'm sure you can tell, I'm trying very hard not to paint these situations as negative things, but rather factual things. The world looks different through each of our eyes. I know this.

But more than how our world around us looks, I can't shake this thought of everyone around me seeing ME differently than I see myself. I felt self-conscious, and slightly defensive.

I don't have anything conclusions or profound thoughts on the subject. I'm just having an unnerving out-of-body experience trying to size myself up and examine my world from the perspective of others. I don't recommend it.