7.05.2011

Peanut Butter Side Up

So...marriage.

There are so many things that I can say about my mere month and a half in this new world of two-becoming-oneness.

Surprisingly, while I am learning more and more about Robbie through our marriage (like how he has to have a turkey and ham sandwich with the ham on the mustard side and the turkey on the mayo side with a piece of cheese in the middle; or how he'll only eat his PB&Js peanut butter side up; or how he manages to not only steal all the blankets during the night, but also finds a way to steal my pillow in his sleep as well), honestly, he is who I've always known him to be--he is all the reasons for which I married him (I love him so much). But really, I feel as though I'm rediscovering myself more than I'm discovering him.

During all of the stresses in my life over the past year, including planning a wedding!!, I got so caught up in trying to "figure out" how every day would play out and if I would survive, I forgot some of the things that make me who I am--the things that make me happy.

As organization, peace, and happiness settle deeply into my daily life, I'm slowly digging up old treasures of thoughts, dreams, talents, and goals.

I found this quote on a blog today and it struck the cord my heart has been searching for--like a tune stuck in your head, but you don't even realize you're humming it until the words suddenly rush out of your mouth.

It also seemed an appropriate story to wed the topics of marriage and my rediscovery of my love of the written word.

oh, and ps. In my process of redefining myself as Anna Bullough, I'm looking to freshen up the blog. Ideas welcome. Should I change my URL and everything???


Date a Girl Who Reads by Rosemarie Urquico


Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.


Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.


She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.


Buy her another cup of coffee.


Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.


It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by God, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.


She has to give it a shot somehow.


Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.


Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.


Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.


If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.


You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.


You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.


Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.


Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

4 comments:

Snoopy said...

I love this. SO much!
Congratulations on the wedding - and no, don't change the blog URL, it's more hassle than you'd think. I tried it once... haha

Tamara said...

Hi Anna! Somehow I stumbled upon your blog tonight through an old post and had to read a bit more. Just had to say hi and let you know I'm so impressed with you! I love the tidbit you posted here about dating a girl who reads/writes. Treasure those words!

Congrats on getting married! I'm sure everything might seem like it's changing (your home, your name, your eating schedule, etc.), but it's all worth it! I just recovered from first-year-of-marriage-syndrome myself. It was a doozie! :)
And thanks again for your thoughts on marriage and words: two of my loves.

Meagen said...

This post was very comforting. It's good to hear that things do settle down, routine eventually comes, and peace and contentment can come back. I've just got 3.5 weeks under my belt, and it's so hectic! So thank you for posting that things get better, even in the immediate future.

Maren said...

Haha, I love the 'date a girl who reads.' Brilliant.