Inadequate

I'm feeling inadequate again. Even though I try really hard to mentally prepare myself for life’s difficult moments—like now—I know I also prepare the way for their existence. It reminds me a lot of how I tell myself to stop eating so much sugar while simultaneously eating a large bowl of ice cream with chocolate chocolate-chip cookies. Yeah, it’s happened multiple times.

Why do I expect so much of myself? Or worse yet, why do I so ruthlessly compare myself to everyone around me? I just want to be the best at everything; what’s so wrong about that? No. Really, I think I just don’t know where I’m going in life so I try to keep every door open, which, in my mind, requires me to be the best at everything I try.