I'm a Damsel in Distress--Save Me

You know those fairytale ideas you have about life, the kind you're told never come true? Well, at a certain age you finally realize you can't stand in the tallest tower in a poofy dress with elbow-length gloves and wait for Prince Charming (yes, that is a proper noun) to sweep you off your feet. You know why not? Because poofy isn't a real word. And because Prince Charming will never come. So, what do you do instead? you make a plan and you move forward in life. But! low and behold, the plan doesn't work out either.

I don't know. I simply don't know. Where is a magic 8 ball when you need one?