I'm a Damsel in Distress--Save Me

You know those fairytale ideas you have about life, the kind you're told never come true? Well, at a certain age you finally realize you can't stand in the tallest tower in a poofy dress with elbow-length gloves and wait for Prince Charming (yes, that is a proper noun) to sweep you off your feet. You know why not? Because poofy isn't a real word. And because Prince Charming will never come. So, what do you do instead? you make a plan and you move forward in life. But! low and behold, the plan doesn't work out either.

I don't know. I simply don't know. Where is a magic 8 ball when you need one?

It's A Wonderful Life

Somehow, somewhere, I got a burst of life. I feel as though I’ve been holding my breath for a very long time, and slowly suffocating. Asphyxiated. Sequestered. Disconsolate. But that’s all gone (most of the time). I’m alive and well—very well. I’m happy.

Lately I’ve learned a lot about how I see myself and the world around me. I decided after only one week of this semester’s classes, after fighting so hard to get my double major approved, I had made a wrong choice about sticking around in Provo for classes I “didn’t need.” I didn’t feel cut out to be an English major—I don’t wear red tights with a yellow cardigan; I haven’t grown up reading Pride and Prejudice; I don’t want to write another paper. But I was wrong about being wrong. It is so right for me to be here. And I AM an English major—and a DARN GOOD ONE too. I am so happy to be me. I’m improving. I’m learning. I’m loving. I’m living.

Google Yourself

Finals ended. Holidays started.
It's been a wonderful year, and I had plans to write all about my current life quandaries, excitements, understandings, and opinions, but instead, I can't bring myself to ignore a discovery I made this evening. Finally getting past the semester, I've just sat down to reacquaint myself with this wonderful online journal of mine, and in doing so I've been pleasantly distracted with the number of hits I've had from people (boys) googling their names and finding themselves on my dating list. I even had a friend of mine inform me of his discover of my blog. I only wish people would leave comments so I could have more reactions than just that of this solitary friend. The irony of this whole googling thing is for as much as we'd like to know what other people can discover about us by googling our name, we seem to only google our own names!
I hadn't intended to make such a list--I truly haven't kept it all my life, I merely complied it during a boring day in my creative writing class a day before posting it--but I'm sure glad I did, seeing how much entertainment it has brought me.
So, go ahead, now that you've read this, you know you want to--google yourself.

No Time

It's nearly finals and I'm swamped (hello? who has been absent on this blog for the past week); however, I had to squeeze in a few words--maybe it'll help me focus if I can get these non-homework thoughts on this blog so I'm not distracted.
Or not. Let's be real, I just don't want to do my homework! Pretty sure I've already written this, but somehow my professors didn't get the memo:
I HATE HOMEWORK. I HATE TESTS. I HATE PAPERS. I HATE PRESENTATIONS. I HATE PROJECTS.

I was thinking earlier of how burned out I feel (obviously think about being burned out instead of writing the story that I'm still avoiding--yeah, due tomorrow). I've given up on perfect grades this semester more than ever. With the exception of my Travis term, I've had a 4.0 for nearly a year now--fulfilling my goal of merely wanting one perfect semester. Not merely the all "A"s and one "A-" garbage I've had most of my college career. But I'm ready for a real break. I've been in school for five years straight, including summers, with no break. It's time. Anyway, going back to my earlier thoughts (dang, I'm so easily distracted right now--again, that's why I'm writing this post instead of my paper). Just this semester I finally declared the double major that I've been working on for nearly a year, simultaneously with my original broadcasting major. Declaring gave me so much peace and direction in my life. In addition to helping me feel I had somewhere to be next year, declaring also set a chain of events in motion that resulted in my following through with a dream of interning with National Geographic. I really believe that internship will be very important to me, but I don't know if the double major is as important as I originally believed--or if it was merely a means to an end. We'll see. I've also been reconsidering my potential of serving a mission.

Another thought: lately, I've realized that I'm not scared of seeing Travis on campus anymore. Nearly every time I walked in an open area, I wondered if I would bump into him. I've successful made it an entire semester without seeing him. But it occurred to me a few days ago that it wouldn't matter. It wouldn't matter if I walked past him, or if he waved, or if he ignored me and looked the other way. None of it would matter. I was scared of crossing paths--scared of what that would do to me emotionally. Yet, it's not him that I'm scared of--actually, I don't think he could bother me anymore whatsoever (took me far too long to get to that point). But I am scared of something. When I actually pictured him walking by, I had a really hard time putting details to the visual. He has already begun fading from my memory, and he's fading fast now. The edges are all blurry as I try to recall the conversations, laughter, love--it's all gone. I just remember a few words--mostly the inappropriate ones, and his eyes. But they don't haunt me anymore. Seeing him just came to represent something I held bottled up inside of me--my desires. I prefer to suppress them, but I'm okay to be vulnerable again--I think. I've had more power than ever in my ability to understand and control my emotions surrounding boys. I think I'm ready to lose control again--I think. Travis, thank you for the lessons you taught me. I hated you for the things you did to me, but I've forgiven you. You were wrong, but we were young. I never want to think of or mention you again. And I wish other boys would stop wanting to talk about it. I hate talking about dates, dating, or dumb dudes on dates. I'm done.

I have a great life! If only this stupid paper would go away and let me live it!

Oh, one more thing. My room-roommate is moving out at the end of this semester--I just found out. Someone new will move in. Weird.

Oh, and one more, more thing. My tongue is blue right now. I just ate an Extreme Sour Warhead! I haven't had one in YEARS! Thanks for sharing, Angela.

Oh, and one more, more, more thing. We cut snowflakes in my apartment to decorate. I cut my finger. My snowflake is now red. Oops. Thought it was supposed to go the other way.
Isaiah 1:18: "Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool."
hehehe.

Homework

I hate you.
The end.

Dancing is a Sport!

Well, DanceSport competition has, yet again, come and gone. My partner and I successfully made it through all of the preliminary rounds, but were cut just before Quarterfinals. It was a pleasant competition--long enough to have fun, but short enough to get me to my job interview on time.

Me, Parker J. (partner)

The Waltz

Elang Test/Exam?

I'm not doing very (good/well) right now. Just thinking about this Elang usage test (affects/effects) my physical, mental and emotional well being. The (above/same) has (a/an) historic reputation for causing such discomfort. My professor (implied/inferred) (that) a good grade on this exam could (be) quite difficult to achieve. (If/Whether) I pass this test (and/or) get a good grade, I just might not feel so (bad/badly) about myself. I've (continuously/continually) thought about this test and considered (laying/lying) down to easy the ache at the base of my head; but I (kind of/sort of) think I should stay up and study more. I am (one of those anal types who stress(es)) all the time , and (whoever/whomever) tells me to "calm down" simply is (disinterested/uninterested) in (my) passing this (battery of tests). I (myself) know I'm going to be (all right/alright), but this test is just (different from/than) any other test I've ever taken. Often (one) feels as though they are drifting (farther/further) and (farther/further) away from (their) goals. But (due to the fact that) this test will have (fewer/less) questions than I originally anticipated, I'm sure I (ain't) going to do horridly. The (reason I get stressed is because), (between/among) you and (I/me), I'm simply not prepared. Tests sneak up on me (as/like) a monster in the night. I just (can't not) pass this test. I (shall/will) be successful!

Walk like a 'terp...Talk like a 'terp

You know how everyone asks if you feel any different on your birthday, any older? And of course you answer "no."
Well, today I feel different. ...no, you didn't forget my birthday. I passed the Utah State Novice test for American Sign Language interpreting!!!!! I'm pretty sure something changed inside of me today. I now walk like an interpreter.

Dear Anna:

Congratulations! You have been awarded the Novice Level Certificate! I commend you on your accomplishment. Your certificate, certification card, and other information will be sent separately.

Sincerely,

Mitch

Mitch Jensen, Director

Utah Interpreter Program

What an Honor

Ok, I really don’t have the time or the energy to try and sound eloquent right now. Let me just say, today has been amazing. I received the Outstanding Broadcast Award, which declares me the top broadcast junior in the nation. Pretty dang cool. And I got money. Always dang cool. I also received a scholarship. Yay! Even more money! And I get to produce a thirty minute radio documentary. I just couldn’t believe the whole experience. I also got a set of the BYU P.E. clothing. They’re getting rid of the clothes and I got some! I know, dorky. But I was excited. And I turned in my huge English project—including my much worked on short story. That’s a relief. Maybe one day I’ll have the guts to post that story here. Probably not though.
Today I felt as light as air. And for the fourth time this week I couldn’t help but smile.
Too bad Travis didn't call. All well.

We are the Champions!

Out of over one-hundred couples, we won 3rd place in the Rumba!!!

I Thought This Was Hilarious!

The Poetry Judge
by Garrison Keillor
(The Atlantic, Feb.96)

BEGINNING:
THERE are four hundred poems," the president of the poetry society said over the phone, "but judging won't take you that long, because most of them are pretty bad." The next day the poems arrived in an apple carton, three bundles bound with rubber bands, and I spread them out in the squares of sunshine on my dining-room table. "O dining-room table, dear old friend, home of my mournful mashed potatoes." Four hundred poems, enough to fill a bread box, by ninety-three poets who hoped to win one of four modest cash prizes-modest to you, but no prize is modest to a poet. Poets are starved for prizes--awards, with cash stipends, named after ladies with three names. And what poet truly feels, deep down in his or her heart, that he or she is unworthy of much, much more recognition, right away? Not me. I won the Anna von Helmholz Phelan Prize for poetry in 1962 and am starved for another, even though I am no longer a poet. When I took the rubber bands off the bundles of poems, I could hear a faint sucking, an inhalation of poem breath, poems whispering, Please, sir. Please.

* * * * * * * * *

END:
Okay, I said to her, that's fine,
As I reached for the pistol you gave me, Daddy.
She thanked me for my work, and I said that it was my
pleasure,
As I put the pistol to the back of her head
And blew her brains out,
Which didn't amount to all that much, frankly,
And ran her through a wood chipper.
She made a little bit less than a full load.
I mixed her with the dirt
At the end of the flower bed,
And this fall I'll plant bulbs in her
And next spring she'll look better than she ever did as a
president,
And men in tuxedos will say how terrific the irises look,
But do you know what I went through
For beauty,
America,
And you on the terrace drinking your gin and tonics,
How can you possibly understand any of this, you
dummies?

ENTIRE STORY:

http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/archive/index.php/t-4752.html

Sonnet 1

I walk alone along my path in life.
The men surrounding me are merely boys
And will not be my match nor I their wife.
I flit from date to date with dancer’s poise,
But their left feet destroy the tandem flow.
My toes all hurt and head throbs with despair.
A lucky few get close but then they go
And tear my heart to shreds beyond repair.
Someday I may just find my perfect match—
The glove that fits my hand with loving ease.
And when he comes into my life to catch
My eyes and ask me with a smile and ‘please’;
I will not hesitate to say I’ll be
His one true love for all eternity.

The Answers that Nobody Sticks Around For:

"What's Up?" --a question so flippantly asked. Well, here's the answer that nobody sticks around long enough to hear:

Finals are done--thankfully. For a bit there, I wasn't sure if I was going to make it through. But I did. And here I am. Actually, there is a small chance (once again) that I can get my first 4.0 here at BYU. A few of my classes are a real tossup (like always) as to whether they'll be "A"s or "A-"s. Keep your fingers crossed.
Some of my professors have really ticked me off this finals time though. I don't understand how they can spend an entire semester teaching (or not teaching) one thing, and then harshly grade a final that had to do with entirely different things!!
It's funny, at the beginning of this semester I looked over everything that I would have to do until I reached the point that I am at now; and I may have shed a tear or two at all that was expected of me during 'Fall semester 2008.' I told myself "if I can survive this, it'll be a real accomplishment." I don't like giving myself a pat on the back; but I must say "I'm a survivor." It's funny I guess, because in pure hindsight bias the semester wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. But then again, call me Dante because it was a real trip through Hell. I'm not sure why that's funny. I guess the semester was just so good and so bad at the same time that I'm not sure how to feel about it. Either way, it's in my past. And soon I will not only put this semester to bed, but the entire year of 2008.

I had a real burst of future hopes yesterday. I watched several dance movies and they always get me going. I have really big plans for next summer! I want to take hip-hop lessons and maybe ballroom, guitar lessons, write and read a ton, get my ASL interpreting certification, get a random job, maybe take classes, and stay at home with my family! It's gonna be a great summer.
But before I even get to next summer, I'm really looking forward to next semester too. I'm not really sure if I'm going to be able to handle everything I'm signed up for though. I actually had a dream about it last night. The whole night I struggled with decisions of what to participate in and what not to. A lot of my anxiety stems from my new job as Technical Director of the Daily News on Fridays. I just don't think that it fits in my schedule. And even more than that, when I pray about it I keep feeling like I need to decline the position. The answer seems so obvious on paper, but I just worry that withdrawing will give me a bad reputation in the news room, and I don't want to lose a skill that I think is fun either. But seriously, I'm signed up for 17 credits and two part-time jobs! Yeah, I know, I'm crazy. I'm so excited for all of my classes, and the first thing that I would drop would be directing. It's sad, but I think I'm just going to have to get the guts up to say something. As far as the classes that I hope to keep: Living Prophets, Intro to Guitar, Intro to Latin Ballroom Dance, Intro to Standard Ballroom Dance, Media History & Philosophy, Television News Production, British Literary History 1, and Creative Writing. I can't wait!

In looking to the future, I can't help but often wonder where my life will be in five years. I see a lot of my friends going off and getting married, starting their families. I'm also making a lot of new friends who got married before I even met them. Being at BYU, and reaching the ripe "old" age of twenty, the favorite topic of conversation among most people I know is :
"Who are you dating?"
"How's your dating life?"
"We're trying to get pregnant."
"You guys are going to get married, I know it."
"I'm sorry your social life sucks."
"I'm engaged!"
"I'm pregnant!"
"Have you guys kissed yet?"
"Being single is good...I guess."
I tried picturing myself with kids. I can see it--ten years from now! Last night, as I lay in bed, I realized that I had never even pictured myself in a wedding dress. I imagined a reception setting a few times, and it was kinda hard to put myself in the bride's shoes. Even harder was to find someone to stand in for the groom. I kind of have a 'crush,' or as I like to say "I'm minutely interested" in a guy in my ward right now. I really don't think that he is interested in the slightest, and my own interest is waning, but my mom says not to slam the door of my heart on him yet. She thinks that I should give him next semester; I'm giving him the first month--tops. Honestly, I don't want him (or anyone else for that matter) to "fall madly in love with me" and want to marry me next semester. I just want a really good friend for now. Maybe even merge into boyfriend. But for now, I'm so incredibly single (as usual) that it's not even funny. It's a good think I like being single some of the time, or else I might go crazy over it (like some people I know...).
Right now, I'm not even near the person that I'd like to be when I get married and start a family. Let's just say, I have a lot of goals for next year; a lot of areas for improvement.

Karma and I have had a really good experience visiting teaching this semester. One of our teachees has really opened up to us and really seems to depend on us a lot for emotional support. I really hope that we can be everything that she needs.

Oh! I found some new songs that I really like: Fred Jones, Part 2--Ben Folds, Fix You--Coldplay, and X & Y--Coldplay. Some of Avril Lavigne's songs have really hit the mark these past few weeks.
And, of course, my "Most Often Played" Playlist still holds most of my overplayed favorites.

Hmm...I think that's pretty much it for now. Thanks for asking.

How are you?

Finals Are Coming...

Now is the time that many students dread; an accumulation of all that was SUPPOSED to have been learned throughout the semester will be tested and graded.
The time for learning is passed. The time for reckoning is here.

But why do I feel like I am learning more than ever right now?

I am discovering myself. But I suppose the test of self is ongoing.

Round...well, the next.

I'm back at school again. And like always, I already have homework. Yes I am suppose to be working on my homework right now, but I got on the computer instead. I was tempted to do something I didn't want to, so I'm writing you as a preventative measure.

I'm scared out of my whits for this fall semester! I have really hard classes and a really busy schedule. I'm trying to convince myself that I can do anything, but I know I can't do everything.

In addition to classes, boys, work, and home are all good too.

The Light on the Other Side

As I take every tentative step, I know that I am moving forward. I still feel as though I am traveling across a rickety old bridge in hopes of the change on the other side; but every step requires faith, a continuous resolve to do better, and the ability to forgive myself for my mistakes, and I am trying. Change looms in the air of my life. And while the grass on the other side is “just as hard to mow,” I feel as though greener pastures await me. My experiences are all new right now, and yet feel “overdone” as well. The challenges I face everyday successfully manage to thwart my ever growing efforts to succeed. I try to run, but stumble. I try to get back up just to fall again.
Work use to be my safeguard, but discouragement, disappointment, and disillusion curb my passion and kill my hope. I no longer feel a part of a nurturing safe haven, and sadly I believe the people I work with bring this unwanted spirit. N.I. is not a happy person. She is bitter, hurt, and lost. But for as much as I desire to support her, she is bringing me down.
School has also lost its savor for me. I am burned out and tired. However, after having said that, I have a wonderful set of classes this term; and thankfully so. I just wish that I were better. But again, I believe that I have merely hit a plateau, stepped up to the beginning of the bridge. Now if I can just get across, things will look up. I am both nervous and excited about my future. I have an intense and deeply rooted fear of failure, and I am struggling to suppress my seemingly life threatening anxieties. I am learning the art of peace with one’s own flaws.
And, as I am going through the typical list, I’m not sure where I stand with the male race at this time. My ache for “him” will never be satisfied until he is with me for eternity, but in the meantime uncertainty smothers those desires—at least to some degree. This past week I planned my academic schedule for the next two years. Quite ostentatious, I know. However, the satisfaction I felt was buffered with the conclusion that marriage was not to be a part of that schedule and that I was more than okay with that decision; tonight my feelings pushed me back to square one. I am not madly in love with anyone, nor are there any even remote prospects at this time; yet I enjoyed myself while on a date, and longed once again for that protective arm to consume me in my pains and trials. I honestly believed that I could suppress that desire for the time being, but I was most definitely wrong. Now what?
On a happier note, I have begun yet another book. I have never before read Jane Eyre, nor am I even remotely familiar with its story, but I am in love with it thus far (page 20…).
Wish me luck on both my Physical Science test and my Cha-cha test, for I am nervous about both.
Life is so complex it is great; life is so great, it’s complex.

Baby Steps

My emotions hurt and my body is exhausted, but for some reason I feel okay right now.

I went to an academic advisement counselor yesterday. Mostly she just reassured me that I was in an okay position and on the right track. We went over what classes I have left that I absolutely have to take, and then I just drilled her with my excessive amount of questions. After the meeting I essentially planned my entire academic life for the next year and a half. I feel good about things. I will be taking longer than necessary to graduate, but it is necessary for me that I graduate later if it means that I get me double major. I was really prepared to fight the counselor on what I expected to be a tremendous amount of discouragement concerning my desire to double, but was very much so relieved and empowered by her surprising support.

I feel as though my soul is mending right now. It really wasn’t as broken as it could have been, and I’m still incredibly confused about my own surfeit of emotions, but I stumbled and am now beginning to walk again. Running yesterday was a mistake, and I’ve learned not to jump the gun, but I can start walking into my own future with a degree of confidence.

Weaknesses or Strengths?

I’m so weak! I have an issue that I’ve been trying to work through for the past, hum…several years! but I always succumb to my temptations. Why do I do that? I think that it’s because my mental will and desire for things is often less powerful than my physical will. I’m definitely getting better, but I still have a long way to go…
On a very different note, I have been in the library for several hours studying for my Media Ethics, Law, and Responsibility class. I have a timed midterm on Monday, and I’m really nervous. We also have a homework assignment of reading 80+ pages! Why does he think that he can do this to us?! Doesn’t he know that I have homework in my other classes too? All well.
I’m just kinda sad that work and school are taking up so much of my time. I know these are my primary priorities, but I really wanted to go to the temple this morning and just didn’t have time.
Time and money have really shown their importance in my life during that past couple of days. I just don’t have enough of either to do everything. I think that I really want to have a bit of money when I get older. I know that money and time have been real struggles in my parents’ life, and because time is money and money is time I just don’t think that I want to waste time worrying about money.

Uh...marriage???

Okay, I don’t even know where to start. First of all, my life is great. I have a very nice life with a wonderful family, job, education, and decent social life. Sometimes I can feel like I’m on top of the world…and others…
Today I toured KUER. I had a fabulous experience and became really excited about my future, primarily my future career. It has become very clear to me during the past week that journalism will definitely be a part of my future life. However, my emotions take a definite turn when I talk about the aspects of my future. I have really struggled with my homework this evening and decided to take a break after three hours and check out a few friends on facebook. To my surprise, someone that I had been highly interested in last semester has a girlfriend. Honestly, I was more surprised with my reaction than with this fact alone. My heart leaped and my stomach churned. Why is that? I was sure that I was completely over him. And worse than that, he was never really in to me and probably hasn’t thought twice about me since he walked away. But something in me was frustrated, even angry, and rather hurt. Again, why is that? I have not only dated other people since my idiotic infatuation with this individual, I have also been interested in someone else and have also had a relationship of my own. To be entirely truthful with myself, I think that the reason I was hurt and the reason I am not satisfied with my current relationship(s), regardless of their level, is because I really am searching for my match. And last night, I realized how much I really want to find him. That may sound incredibly sappy/cheesy, however, I really don’t care what others think at this point, because I know that marriage will make me happy. I want to fall in love. Divorce, fighting, and future trials scare me to some degree, but I think that my love for my future husband and his love for me will run so deep that these things will not be an issue for us. I love him. I pray for him. And I will find him soon.
Roommates are an interesting association. I have had a variety of roommates over my span of time away from home. My very first roommate was weird; this term is not mean in a critical, derogitory, or rude fassion, she simply was just that—weird. My second roommate was entirely infatuated with a boy and while she was nice, I had little association with her. However, “little” is more than I can say I had with my next roommate, whom I saw a total of five times throughout the summer term even though we shared a room together. And then, my roommates Becky, Karma, and Emily came along. I grew to love each one of them very much. I can’t say that they weren’t hard to live with, or that we were problem free, but I did love them. Our relationships are that of superb friends. Yet even this does not satisfy my crave for companionship. My current roommates are again nice and even so much as pleasant, however my assocation with them is limited, as is the extent of our relationship. To be quite frank, I am done with roommates, even the ones that I say I love. As I disclaimer, I want to clarify that just because I don’t want to be roommates with them anymore doesn’t mean that I don’t love them, and if I had to be roommates with anyone it would be them. However, I want an eternal bedmate, that’s all. I use to think that marriage was the end of my social life, or that I had more life to live before I got married, but I realized that my life will truly begin when I can stop searching for him and start living with him. I want someone to be there and listen to all of my daily shpeals with patience and love. I want to care and love someone.
Okay, I’ve offically scared myself with this little speech. I sound like the girls I roll my eyes at…who come to BYU simply for marriage. I guess I just worry whether or not I will ever fall in love, that's all...

"So ya had a bad day"

I really don't like people who are rich, snobby, know-it-alls, jerky, holier-than-thou, rude, arrogant, stupid, lucky, prideful, babied, good at everything, dressed in the latest fad, top-of-the-class, beauty queens, lazy, messy, don't have a sense of style or music, uneducated (by personal choice), stereotypical, simply bad, oblivious, play video games excessively (according to my measurement), drive unlawfully, don't see, don't care, don't feel, just don't know.

Today has been one of those days. After arriving to school before the rest of the student body woke up, I studied for my day's classes and a major test that I had to take this afternoon. At 8:00 I rushed off to my first class just to find out that a 2 hour lab session was canceled...again (yeah, and has been 3 out of the 4 weeks we've been in school...talk about slightly ticked) (oh, and side note, my TA borrowed my book/CD for the class 2 weeks ago, then lent them to someone else. "Oh, I forgot."...again, are we slightly ticked???). So, I could have gotten more sleep. Instead I utilized my time and studied for my test some more. Actually, I taught all of the material to another student that had only attended lecture twice. I suppose I didn't mind sharing the fruits of my hours of hard work making flashcards. After all, because I was teaching him, it was a good review for me.

I did get a nice break from my day during my wonderful religion class. Thank goodness...Too bad it only lasted 50 min.

Then, naturally, I studied for another hour. And after I couldn't study any longer, I took the test. After my hours of work, no wonder I felt really good about the test while taking it. Yea for studying so much--I GOT 65%!!! I was appalled. Oh, but that isn't the worst of it. Someone who isn't familiar with the subject and didn't study at all mind you, got a better score than I did.

After which, I went to work so that I could support my way through school and life. Again, unlike many around me who's parents pay for their fancy new cars. No, I don't have a car; I paid for the $70 bus pass on my own and stand in the cold waiting for it every morning after walking there to get to school early BECAUSE IT BUILDS CHARACTER! I'm not bitter though.

Sorry, side tracked again. After work I went to my last class and took a quiz. I stayed after class to prepare for my presentation I'm giving on Thursday. My group finished just in time for me to miss the last bus, so I did not drive a brand-new car but walked the 25 min. walk home in the dark carrying all of my books. When I got home I tried calling someone just to let out frustrations, and to my surprise a deep scratch is now running right down the front of my phone. It's a good thing that one of my roommates had dinner waiting on the table: spaghetti, one of my least favorite foods.

Well, I got a calling tonight. Not only did Heavenly Father point out the North Star to me (I was praying while I walked, and when I looked up I was walking directly North and saw the star), but he gave me a hug (completely out of the norm, the 2nd counselor in the Bishopric gave me a hug when I showed up for my interview).

My cold is now coming back, so I guess I'd better turn in.

Night!