Do You Hear the Music?

It rained this morning. It's pouring now. Thanks to daylight savings, my body woke at it's usual time, but at the new hour of 5:30am. I laid in my warm bed, briefly contemplating how I would use this gift of time--sleep, read, work. After ten minutes of trying to keep myself awake while closing my eyes, so as not to drift off and lose the time to unconscious rest, I heaved myself up from the shamble of my cosy covers.

My family is having car problems--it's a habit of ours--so my mother was driving the girls to school and my dad into work. I elected to go with them and help my mother after dropping off the crew. With all sisters in dance, she has been cleaning the ballet studio to supplement tuition costs for years.

My cold, tired body hoisted itself into the car, flipping through the pages of my new novel as quickly as I could in the dim light of the morning.

Soon, we were in the studios, mopping floors, washing mirrors, and scrubbing bathrooms. I haven't really danced in years. I may have dabbled in a few college classes here and there, but nothing like my time spending every afternoon as a "studio rat."

As I bent over, reaching to a child's smudged handprint on the mirror between to bars, I had a powerful and unexpected flashback. I recalled standing in that very room, the air heavy with body heat and sweat. I remember the aching muscles, the lack of confidence, the shoes and tights and leotards and hairnets. My body marinated in the memory, growing heavy the longing for that elated rush of finishing a combination with a perfect triple pirouette, landing with precision and poise. I could almost hear the melodic, classical piano notes filling the rooms, begging to carry your fingers and toes.

I miss it. I miss dancing so much. 

The Beautiful Ballerina Project

Apollo Theater

We went to amateur night. It was AWESOME! I heard MJ and his brothers started out at Apollo Theater once upon a time, and many other great artists as well.

The performances were amazing. AND we had a dance party in the isles during intermission!

(Although I think the black women on the other row were getting a kick out of our massive group of white dancers...)

Here's a bit of the gang hobnobbing with peoples and performers after the show.

SO. GOOD.

That Thang You Do

Thank goodness today was Friday! For some reason this week has gone by so incredibly slowly, and today at work I was just dying! The sun was shining outside, and I was stuck in the office falling asleep at my computer. Finally I convinced my coworker to give me "permission" to leave early (mind you, I said my coworker, not my boss). He did. So, I did.

Here's the scoop for the day:

1. Most of my time at work today went to logging (transcribing/describing) footage for an episode of Border Wars on this group of illegal immigrants that tried to cross from Mexico to America but got caught in this river and drowned. It was horrible! You know those parts of television shows that are blurred out or even cut out completely because they're not appropriate for the general pubic? Well, someone's got to do the cutting...
Such horrible scenes probably contributed to my wanting to leave work early.
But I also got to transcribe the discussions in an anger management meeting with some of the inmates inside the Denver County Jail. ...very interesting.

2. I went salsa dancing! Let's just say, some young men like dancing very close...and some old men do too! Also interesting.

3. Went to a Gray's Papaya (famous for their hotdogs) and got a hotdog!

4. Went to Shake Shack (famous for their shakes) and got a custard sunday!



After a very long day, here was one of my favorite parts:

I had a very difficult time deciding what to get at the Shake Shack. I'm a very habitual person by nature, you see, and I always get oreos and chocolate sauce. But they didn't have oreos. So, I decided to ask the kind-looking man at the cash register. We'll call him Shawn. He leaned over the register and had a very in-depth discussion helping me decide what I wanted. In the end, Shawn smiled and said that we was going to make my sunday himself.
In spite of the crazy lines in this famous shack, he did in fact run over and make it himself! He gave me a larger size than I had ordered, added a few extra topping, and handed it over with another very gracious smile.

Senior Dance Showcase

We went to the Juilliard Senior Dance Showcase!!!!

I LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. dance.

We had to wait in a SUPER long stand-by line for about 2 hours.

But by the time they let us in, the line reached all the way down the block!

Good thing we showed up so early!!!

ps. see that man reading the newspaper? well, this other guy tried to cut in line by us and he really did a number with that one.

I swear, for a good 30 minutes before we got in Newspaper Man repeated, "Sir, the back of the line is that way."

To which Russian Man responding, "I am not looking for back of line, I am looking for front of line."

"Sir, the back of the line is that way."

"I did not ask to talk to you. You don't talk to me."

"Sir..."

(Russian swear words.)

....30 minutes later...

"Sir..."

You can't really see the stage, but I promise it was there! We weren't allowed to take flash pictures...actually, we weren't allowed to take pictures at all. That's why I wasn't able to capture a shot of the male dancer who removed his clothes on stage!

I Hope You Dance

Today was a dance-in-your-room-when-no-one-is-looking day.
Dancing makes me happy.

Married

I was supposed to get married today. It's kind of a weird feeling (albeit, not as weird as I had anticipated)--knowing six months ago I walked through a mansion (my future reception hall) and discussed honeymoon cruises with my husband-to-be. But instead, I'm going on a date tonight. Interesting, the trips life takes us on.
Now, on to current dilemmas: do I join the Provo hip-hop team, or do I sneak into the World Religions class on Thursday nights?

Dancing is a Sport!

Well, DanceSport competition has, yet again, come and gone. My partner and I successfully made it through all of the preliminary rounds, but were cut just before Quarterfinals. It was a pleasant competition--long enough to have fun, but short enough to get me to my job interview on time.

Me, Parker J. (partner)

The Waltz

Sonnet 1 -Revised

I walk alone along my path in life.
The men surrounding me are merely boys
And will not be my match nor I their wife.
I flit from date to date with dancer’s poise,
But their left feet destroy the tandem flow.
My toes, they hurt! and I resent dim youth
Who will not take the lead that real men show;
to guide me forward with their moves—so smooth.
Someday I may just find my perfect match—
The glove that fits my hand with loving ease.
And when he comes into my life to catch
My eyes and ask me with a gentle ‘please;’
I will not hesitate to say I’ll be
His one true love for all eternity.

See original poem here.

We are the Champions!

Out of over one-hundred couples, we won 3rd place in the Rumba!!!

Sonnet 1

I walk alone along my path in life.
The men surrounding me are merely boys
And will not be my match nor I their wife.
I flit from date to date with dancer’s poise,
But their left feet destroy the tandem flow.
My toes all hurt and head throbs with despair.
A lucky few get close but then they go
And tear my heart to shreds beyond repair.
Someday I may just find my perfect match—
The glove that fits my hand with loving ease.
And when he comes into my life to catch
My eyes and ask me with a smile and ‘please’;
I will not hesitate to say I’ll be
His one true love for all eternity.

The Answers that Nobody Sticks Around For:

"What's Up?" --a question so flippantly asked. Well, here's the answer that nobody sticks around long enough to hear:

Finals are done--thankfully. For a bit there, I wasn't sure if I was going to make it through. But I did. And here I am. Actually, there is a small chance (once again) that I can get my first 4.0 here at BYU. A few of my classes are a real tossup (like always) as to whether they'll be "A"s or "A-"s. Keep your fingers crossed.
Some of my professors have really ticked me off this finals time though. I don't understand how they can spend an entire semester teaching (or not teaching) one thing, and then harshly grade a final that had to do with entirely different things!!
It's funny, at the beginning of this semester I looked over everything that I would have to do until I reached the point that I am at now; and I may have shed a tear or two at all that was expected of me during 'Fall semester 2008.' I told myself "if I can survive this, it'll be a real accomplishment." I don't like giving myself a pat on the back; but I must say "I'm a survivor." It's funny I guess, because in pure hindsight bias the semester wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. But then again, call me Dante because it was a real trip through Hell. I'm not sure why that's funny. I guess the semester was just so good and so bad at the same time that I'm not sure how to feel about it. Either way, it's in my past. And soon I will not only put this semester to bed, but the entire year of 2008.

I had a real burst of future hopes yesterday. I watched several dance movies and they always get me going. I have really big plans for next summer! I want to take hip-hop lessons and maybe ballroom, guitar lessons, write and read a ton, get my ASL interpreting certification, get a random job, maybe take classes, and stay at home with my family! It's gonna be a great summer.
But before I even get to next summer, I'm really looking forward to next semester too. I'm not really sure if I'm going to be able to handle everything I'm signed up for though. I actually had a dream about it last night. The whole night I struggled with decisions of what to participate in and what not to. A lot of my anxiety stems from my new job as Technical Director of the Daily News on Fridays. I just don't think that it fits in my schedule. And even more than that, when I pray about it I keep feeling like I need to decline the position. The answer seems so obvious on paper, but I just worry that withdrawing will give me a bad reputation in the news room, and I don't want to lose a skill that I think is fun either. But seriously, I'm signed up for 17 credits and two part-time jobs! Yeah, I know, I'm crazy. I'm so excited for all of my classes, and the first thing that I would drop would be directing. It's sad, but I think I'm just going to have to get the guts up to say something. As far as the classes that I hope to keep: Living Prophets, Intro to Guitar, Intro to Latin Ballroom Dance, Intro to Standard Ballroom Dance, Media History & Philosophy, Television News Production, British Literary History 1, and Creative Writing. I can't wait!

In looking to the future, I can't help but often wonder where my life will be in five years. I see a lot of my friends going off and getting married, starting their families. I'm also making a lot of new friends who got married before I even met them. Being at BYU, and reaching the ripe "old" age of twenty, the favorite topic of conversation among most people I know is :
"Who are you dating?"
"How's your dating life?"
"We're trying to get pregnant."
"You guys are going to get married, I know it."
"I'm sorry your social life sucks."
"I'm engaged!"
"I'm pregnant!"
"Have you guys kissed yet?"
"Being single is good...I guess."
I tried picturing myself with kids. I can see it--ten years from now! Last night, as I lay in bed, I realized that I had never even pictured myself in a wedding dress. I imagined a reception setting a few times, and it was kinda hard to put myself in the bride's shoes. Even harder was to find someone to stand in for the groom. I kind of have a 'crush,' or as I like to say "I'm minutely interested" in a guy in my ward right now. I really don't think that he is interested in the slightest, and my own interest is waning, but my mom says not to slam the door of my heart on him yet. She thinks that I should give him next semester; I'm giving him the first month--tops. Honestly, I don't want him (or anyone else for that matter) to "fall madly in love with me" and want to marry me next semester. I just want a really good friend for now. Maybe even merge into boyfriend. But for now, I'm so incredibly single (as usual) that it's not even funny. It's a good think I like being single some of the time, or else I might go crazy over it (like some people I know...).
Right now, I'm not even near the person that I'd like to be when I get married and start a family. Let's just say, I have a lot of goals for next year; a lot of areas for improvement.

Karma and I have had a really good experience visiting teaching this semester. One of our teachees has really opened up to us and really seems to depend on us a lot for emotional support. I really hope that we can be everything that she needs.

Oh! I found some new songs that I really like: Fred Jones, Part 2--Ben Folds, Fix You--Coldplay, and X & Y--Coldplay. Some of Avril Lavigne's songs have really hit the mark these past few weeks.
And, of course, my "Most Often Played" Playlist still holds most of my overplayed favorites.

Hmm...I think that's pretty much it for now. Thanks for asking.

How are you?