1. I hate mosquitoes!
I know, I know, without them the food chain will collapse, and I'd be sorry, and yadda, yadda. But seriously, I think I'm willing to make that sacrifice. My poor toes have OVER TEN mosquito bites--TEN! I'm afraid I just might have to cut my feet off in the next few days if the itching doesn't stop soon.
2. When someone emails you, a response would be nice.
A timely response, especially when the contents contains, oh, the dictates of your entire future, would be much appreciated. I have been waiting for four very important emails for a few weeks now! I can't wait any longer!
3. Why can't I understand my own desires?
I feel like I'm all over the place these days--maybe because I am. Sometimes I want something so badly it hurts, and other times I can be so flippant. Why do my body and spirit fight each other? I wish everyone inside of me would just calm down and breath and let me and time figure things out.
4. Some people get money and big houses and others don't.
I hate that money is such a big issue in the world. Maybe I hate that I don't have any. I can't decide whether or not I believe really, really rich people can be nice, down-to-earth individuals or not. I hope so, because I've decided money is nice but only if the people can be nice too. I wish my parents didn't have to worry about money.
5. Why do people and things and ideas have to become old?
I don't like this whole concept of death, I've decided. Or rather, the process of becoming old and dying. I suppose the actual transition from this world to the next can be a very lovely thing, but the time from age, oh, I don't know, 35 until 80-ish--roughly speaking--that whole dying time, not so bueno. I don't want to feel old. I don't want my back to hurt, and my hips to give out, and my sight to fade, and my mind to slip. Why can't we all just twinkle on our 102nd half birthdays and call it good? I used to love wrinkles. I told myself that accomplished people had wrinkles. But now I just don't think I'm quite as fond of them--on me that is.
6. I don't understand why we have to crave that which we can't have.
The forbidden is so appealing. The unknown is so appealing. The excitement and the hype and the anticipation create such disappointment. Sugar makes us fat, sin makes us sad, and wedding night sex (so I've heard) isn't all it's cracked up to be. I mean, even all this growing up and graduating from college stuff isn't as supreme as we were tricked into believing.
7. I accumulate stuff.
I wish that I could feel less sentimental about everything I owe. Trying to clean through my life creates two piles--the stuff that used to mean a lot, and the stuff that could mean something if I just hold onto it for a wee bit longer. I'm ready to just close my eyes and chuck everything. My library already fills several crates. Moving, which is inevitably going to happen in my future several times, is going to be so difficult. And I can only imagine I'll accumulate more books, and stuff.
PHEW. I can stop there.
Sorry to puke all over you like that, but the churning stomach can't calm until you let it all out.
2 comments:
I know it's hard to remember sometimes, but there are very wealthy people who are wonderful and also quite poor people who are awful. It's not really the money, but the person.
Also, I feel sorry for those who put so much weight on what they make etc... in the end money can be here today gone TOMORROW. Seriously. Gone, no more, end. It's happened so much during this recession and it will always happen.
Only God, Faith and Relationships are constant. And I think that's beautiful!
Something sad is that recently I have become the most money grubbing-est money grubber of them all! But it's not just for the sake of having money and being a jerk, it's just constantly thinking that if I could just convince some rich person to give me 50 grand I could go get my freaking masters degree and THEN start being poor again. But I suppose all this working-to-earn-it stuff is supposed to build character or something....sigh.
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