Why can't I figure myself out?

I am enough of an anomaly to society to believe that the chance of my finding someone compatible with me was next to nothing. Yet tonight I went out with a guy that is better at being me than I am. Despite the similarities, I didn’t like him. Shocking, I know. I suppose ‘compatible’ doesn’t necessarily mean exactly alike. But regardless of how he behaved, what I am more upset about than anything is that I now can’t figure out what I do like. What do I want? This is one of my lifelong questions and it remains yet to be answered. Often I wish that I could give up the pursuit to answer. Why can’t I figure myself out? Guys know that we are complicated, but they will never truly understand the depths of which complexity reach.

I believe that differences compliment one another, but can also cause contention and draw individuals apart. The balance in love and life is so fragile that the smallest tip of the scale is liable to teardown the efforts of one’s entire existence.

We walk a delicate line. Yet it is the thrill associated with being on the edge of love that pushes us to take another step. Many slip, often when least expected, into and out of love. But it is for the times when the hair on the back of your neck rises with your body, and an indescribable feeling accompanies an indescribable bond forged for the eternities, it is the love of love that gives us life causing the pursuit of it to last now and forever.